Anyway, the other day the subject came 'round to babies in tummies again and he asked, in an exasperated way, "When am I going to be a baby?!?" I told him that he already was a baby and would never be one again. Then he said, "But when am I going to be born again?!". Now, I immediately thought that this could be a great object lesson, but I had a feeling that baptism wouldn't sound as exciting as a) somehow hiding inside mom and b) miraculously getting out again. It's like a magic trick! And if Jacob's stuck on an idea, it's best just to explore that idea rather than try to divert him. Trust me, I know.
I decided to show him the video of his birth. Jacob was born on a lovely summer evening in Atlanta. After a long and tumultuous labor we were told we had to do a c-section. I was crushed. I firmly had my sights set on a "standard birth" (I don't like the term "normal" considering my circumstances) since I was a teenager. I couldn't help but cry quietly as they prepped me for surgery and re-did (yes, re-did) the epidural. But, once they started wheeling me to the operating room I was realizing that I really was having a baby and that I had no idea if it was a boy or a girl. Great things to focus on at such a time.
The video shows me shivering my head off and highlights Matt's and my amazing conversation skills after 24 hours awake and in pain. And then he came. Once the doctor pulled his little body out Matt saw what he was and cried out, "Jacob!" The nurses cleaned him up as quick as can be and brought him to me and pressed his little face against mine. I felt like he was imprinting on me or something. What a welcome, to have his smooth baby skin, unreal, amazing baby skin pressed up to my face. I don't think I truly realized until then that I was really carrying a baby.
As we watched the video yesterday Jacob stood behind me while I sat on the floor holding the video camera in one hand and Nico in my lap. We were all mesmerized. It had been a while since I'd seen the video and felt sure that I wouldn't cry. (It had been a long discipline filled day.) But I did. Unabashedly. And Jacob gave me an inquisitive look, asked me why I was crying, and started gently rubbing my back. Happy, happy tears. With joy that this man was born into the world.
And that he's growing.
I can't believe how he's grown. How he's delighted me, tested me, loved me, and taught me. He's a wise, sweet, loving, delightful child. Full of lots of feelings, smarts and determination.
Today is his 4th birthday. Happy, happy birthday J-man! I love you, darling. I feel so grateful to be your mother.
So, today have a treat and a big glass of milk in honor of Jacob.
He's worth it.
11 comments:
Four? Are you sure? How in the world can Jacob be four when I swear he was only born like a year or two ago? :-) By my calculations Nico is only like a year old!
I totally remember that time period right before Jacob was born and right after. What a blessing that sweet boy is! Yea for four years with one cool cat!
What a nice little memory for Jacob's fourth birthday! It sounds like it was the perfect time to show Jacob his birth video. How many more times has he wanted to watch it since then? Olivia loves home videos...does that count as watching too much tv?
Happy Birthday Jacob!
We've been thinking and talking about Jacob all day! We will call...
What a sweet little birthday moment. Congrats to you for four years of wonderful mothering. He is a natural born winner, but you have taught him to be thoughtful and generous and even a little patient :)
Wow, a four year old. And that baby picture of him looks just like him. Cute!
A sweet tribute to the J-Man. Happy Happy Birthday to Jacob!! We love him very much.
He was cute from birth. Really! Usually they come out funny-looking. Good job.
Happy Birthday Jacob!
Oh, I love your last picture! So cute of both of you. You are his best friend, and I can tell you, the big boys I teach who are approaching their mission age still LOVE their moms. Requently students tell me their mothers are their best friends. What a joy for you for years to come, and Nico will feel the same way.You are giving them so much.
I shed a little tear at the birth story.
Happy Birthday to Jacob. We will celebrate when he is here. I have a little somepun' somepun' for him when I see him. I'm glad he's wildly dreaming of spending his money from L. and H. Such a funny story.
I love you Jacob! Robyn, you are eloquent! Thanks, I needed this post today.
ok so i totally lost it and balled reading that blog. like not just eyes full of tears but tears rolling still. what a sweet experience to have with your big 4 year old! wow. what a champ! both of you! happy birthday jacob! and next time you see me i WILL have a baby in my tummy!
I agree w/ Natalie G.-are you sure he's FOUR!?!??! Holy moly! That is amazing and so exciting. I knew there was something extra special about yesterday. That was such a sweet post and gave me goosebumps! I still can't believe your first born is that old, wow, where is time going. I hope you all had a very happy and sweet filled birthday!
Lots of love, Chelsea
p.s such sweet, cute, and tender photos!
So very precious. I remember...the waiting and not being able to hear from you and Matt. Then the wonderful news all was well from his cell phone but the minutes passed before Matt came to tell us if it was a boy or girl. How fun to have both sets of grandparents to hear the news together, well one on the phone and one present. We all laughed and cried together when it was announced A BOY!!!! Happy Birthday big Jacob!!!Love you all!
I have loved seeing both of your little men this week. They crack me up. So sad you were sick, but my whole family had fun with your boys! Thanks for sharing!
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