In two short months we are moving. From Chicago. Gasp. And we are moving to, um, to, um oh I'd better just spit it out...to Arkansas!
Matt is graduating from the University of Chicago in March and we are unexpectedly and happily heading south. We are so very grateful that Matt got a great job in Little Rock. A job that is just what he wants to do. A job that will allow him to come home by 5:30 most nights. And a job that will pay for a moving company to pack up my house and move us. Woot woo!
All that aside, I am still a little stunned about the, um, locale. I mean, Arkansas? It just has never, ever, ever been on my radar. When our friends, the Clives, got a job at the Walmart head offices and moved there (to an Arkansas city 3 hours from Little Rock) it crept onto the edge of my radar, but only the edge. Waaaay out there.
I really already wrote about this two years ago (below the pics of my bathing babies). And let me just say, for those of you who linked over and read that post, that the Arkansas news feels like New Jersey. A lot! It came from way out of left field. It's also missing the "cool factor" and the years long preparation that Chicago and Atlanta had so it's even harder to embrace it sight unseen.
But really, I think the hardest part is that I am someone who puts down roots, dang it! It almost hurts to think of leaving because I have worked hard to belong here. And to love it here. Not that I do either all that well... I can see myself in a cartoon form with a big hand pulling me out of the ground with a bunch of little roots at my feet. Each one is labeled with things I'll miss. And each is screaming in agony. (Drama!) Hyde Park Produce, the Metra train into the city, tree lined streets, cool old homes and architecture, the sailboats on the lake, the Museum of Science and Industry, the lake, the skyline, the restaurants, museum campus, the tot lot, the parks (oh, the parks!), our day to day rhythms and routines, apartment building living, Jacob's school, our church congregation, our community of friends, the view from our window, walking everywhere we go...so very much! The length of this list aside, it's virtually impossible for me to describe what I'll miss. But waves of emotion are breaking over me. Tears might be falling.
Additionally, with Jacob starting kindergarten and the birth of Benjamin, our third child, we are a very different family than the one that moved here. Matt and I are now thirtysomethings (young ones!). And our family is growing up. Cue more sentiment. Moving means we are moving into a new phase of family life. A phase I welcome, but that I can't believe has come. When we moved here little Nico had just barely learned how to walk. More roots screaming in agony...
A few pictures of our first moments in Chicago at the park outside of our building.
And while, again, it hurts to move we are honestly barely fitting into the life we built here two and a half years ago. Throwing the kids into the stroller and taking the train into town just isn't as realistic with a school aged kid, a preschooler, and a baby with unflinchingly rigid sleeping and feeding needs. Also, all sentiment aside, this growing family (when the mother is being realistic) is very ready to welcome the many wonderful things this move will bring. The least of which include a dishwasher, washer/dryer and back yard. Oh who am I kidding, and a garage, central heat and air, wall to wall carpet, a garbage disposal, and a garbage can that isn't 8 floors away. I'd by lying if part of me isn't thrilled to move.
But, when I research Little Rock I honestly wonder if they even have the internet. Information is pretty sparse. And then the panic starts. What is Little Rock like? Will the kids make friends? Will I make friends? Will our house be nice? Will we like the school? How long will we live there? WHAT ARE WE DOING?!?!! (gasp, pant.)
As I mentioned before, and I will take this to the bank, I remember when New Jersey didn't feel like home. I remember when Atlanta didn't feel like home. I remember when Chicago didn't feel like home. And I remember the beautiful moments when they suddenly felt like home. It's hard to believe that my Chicago life, that I was terrified to enter, is now my welcome, comfortable world that I am heartbroken to leave. Matt jokes that home is where your underwear drawer is. Not where you grew up, but where you're living right now. The place where you live, labor, love AND store your underwear. We are so fortunate to have so much to bring with us on our journey to Arkansas: family, the gospel, relationships, memories, traditions...so much! (Do I add an underwear joke here? Or is it too much? Hmmm.) It's just hard to realize that those things are enough. But, they are. Moving to a new city has a wonderful way of helping you realize what matters most.
And now, with no beautifully choreographed conclusion paragraph, and before I get too sentimental (too late!), I give you our Chicago Bucket List. A lot of it we've done before. None of it is terribly unique, but here she is:
1. Architectural boat tour (I've already done this, but Matt hasn't, and it was awesome!)
2. Adler planetarium (I've heard mixed reviews of this, but I think my space-centric kids will enjoy it. And somehow, we've never gone!)
3. Ice Skating on the Midway
4. Go to a taping of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me (Already bought the tickets! It's funny, when we moved here this was high on our list of things to do...two years later and we're barely squeaking it in.)
5. Garfield Conservatory
6. Our regular museum revisits: MSI, Children's, Notebaerte (I want to see if the kids are still terrified of the butterfly haven. Especially the ones "with eyes". The horror! They've shunned the haven every time we've visited.), the Art Institute, the Field, Lincoln Park Zoo. The Works! I don't know if this is a realistic goal, but I'm up for the challenge. Jacob might start really playing hooky.
7. Trader Joe's (This has always been at our disposal, but it's been a pain to go and so we haven't utilized it enough. If you can imagine, Little Rock doesn't have one!)
8. This restaurant (chilaquilis, pupusas, oh my!) and a few others both new and old to us
9. Buckingham Fountain one last time (when it thaws)
10. Millennium Park (another revisit, but this was a fairly regular haunt our only summer in Chicago...memories!)
11. Dinner in Chinatown
More things will probably crop up, but for now we'll leave it at that.
Thanks for listening. (sob.)
An extra, when we were driving into the neighborhood on our first day we told Jacob there was a park next to our building. He was so excited and when we got out of the car he asked, "Is that the park?!"
Um, no sweetie. So cute.
