I feel that my role as a nurturer to my children is so important. To teach, entreat, help and guide my children. To say nothing of the enriching time we spend playing "yakidoff" and reading a shamefully cheesy Teletubbies book given to us by an old neighbor (I swore I would never...). I also feel that I can be pretty stinky at nurturing. I love the days when I feel that I am looking into their little eyes with love and giving something more than just sippies of milk or threats. And more than that, to feel that my attempts at nurturing are really helping them overcome problems and grow. I don't expect every day to be full of rainbows and sunshine, but my kids and our little life are ultimately delightful and I want our days that reflect that.
I also feel that I have an important role as a "home manager". Nothing fancy, just make sure that x+y really does equal z. I am also no great shakes at the home making stuff, but I enjoy an empty sink and minimal clutter just as much as the next mom and I work to those ends.
Now for the grievances (and a cry for help). Both of my children are driving me a little bit bonkers in their own, special way.
1. Jacob won't wear long sleeves, or a coat and fights my wrestling him even into pants (he prefers "little pants"). When we go outside dressed like it's summer he cries to go in or to sit in the stroller and continues to push away all warm gear. Frustrating? Yes.
2. Nicholas has been waking up at 5:00 or earlier for the last week and a half. This started after a stomach bug got him into some bad habits. He then cries inconsolably (whether we go to him or not) for an hour or more. This wakes the entire household up early and we all start the day bleary eyed and annoyed. (Doesn't he look tired?)
These things hang as a pall over many of our proceedings. We have to get dressed every day and we also have to be rested. Forgive me for taking these problems a bit too seriously, you know, lack of sleep...
I have been trying to manage these problems and I'm realizing how poorly that works in the under 4 set. Trying to bully Jacob into the winter clothes and staunchly vowing to not go get my screamy Nico until 6:00. Neither attempt has been fruitful.
Conversely, I've been nurturing our home. I made bread yesterday for pete's sake! I've never even made bread before! And it didn't stop there. I found my heart swelling with warmth and joy just looking at the drying rack full of organized, dare I say, happy little dishes. I even took pictures. Who takes pictures of dishes?
I guess I just want to take care of something that will reciprocate by being happy and behaving (at least a little bit). And if the dishes and a loaf of bread are the only things I can take care of well, then I guess that's how it is.
I've honestly enjoyed subconsciously putting more heart into my housewifery (homemade bread is good!), but I really need a bit more nurturing, mutual understanding and peace with my dishes and with my kids.
Grievances: aired.
10 comments:
Oh no! Southern boy goes north! Well, you could resort to charts and rewards. A fire engine stashed in a high closet if 1) Jacob dresses for the north, or 2)Nico stays asleep. Make that two fire engines! I don't know. I always went for the natural consequences: severely cold limbs with a possible cold thereafter and lots of alone time in weariness far from you in the play room without carpet until he can sleep more hours. See, I've now solved your problems.
OR you could stay home in the heat baking bread with Jacob in shorts and Nico crying in his crib. (Does he climb out yet?)
amen to everything said. and i have no advice. cause i only have one and she WORKS me. daily.
but that bread sure looks yummy!
Oh, I forgot. Haven't you noticed why so many young mothers are into crafts. Crafts never cry, they stay put away when you're done, and all the parts stay just where you have glued them. So crafts, bread, and stacked dishes are the answer.
Did you ask for advice? I don't remember. Well, just in case you did:
Hide ALL the summer clothes.
and
At 5:00am go into Nico, tell him that it is still nighttime (because it is still dark) turn on some soothing music (to soothe him and to drown out his cries) lay him down and walk out. Do this EVERYDAY until the behavior stops.
I think you need a web cam to entertain those boys. I think I look funny enough to hold their attention. I miss seeing their faces.
Who is helpful friend of a friend? She/He had some good advise!
Love.
maybe see if Jacob responds well to a behavior modification chart? (ie stickers/color in objects for good behavior, simple treat at end. I'm too lazy to find the post on my blog where I talked about it, but I know there's a link somewhere!
I like the hide all the summer clothes suggestion. Silently while he's sleeping... switch out his clothes and tell him the Clothes Swapping Fairy came and took his summer clothes for kids in Australia or something....
o girlfriend ... i am so sorry. i am such a big fan of airing grievances ... now don't you feel better?? and that bread looks YUMMY!!
Oh Robyn, I'm so sorry. 5am is too, too early! Would it help if we called each other that early in the morning? Would it take some of the immediate frustration away?
Your bread looks SUPER YUMMY. Even better than the Grandma Sycamore's I'm eating right now (I'm in Utah). We'll talk soon!
Love ya!
I forgot to say how tasty the bread looks. Are you sure you don't bake it lots? It looks delicious.
Robyn that bread looks so good. I wish I knew how to make good bread.
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