In the quiet moments

I find Nicholas doing this kind of thing.


























































































































What a show off! I am in love with this face.


















Nicholas is so darling. He is a sunshine boy. I am grateful to have such a determined, bright, funny boy. I just love seeing his little face working things out.

Here's a conversation Matt & Nicholas had a few weeks ago when Nico was in the tub.

Matt: You're naked!

Nicholas: I not naked, I Nico.

Touche Nicholas, touche.

My Heart is Breaking

Nay, broken.

That's right folks, it's back to school time around here. Or, just "to school time" for Jacob as this is his first time attending preschool.

I have been dreading this day for a long time. I enjoy having him home with me. And I enjoy setting our own schedule. He also just doesn't seem old enough. Four shmore, I say. I don't look at newborn pictures of Jacob and marvel at how grown up he is. The pictures that kill me are from when he was about a year old. Like this.


















In my head Jacob is still this age. I think I need to have my head examined. Look at that big boy!


















When we first arrived he was very prim and proper (see above photo). He just didn't seem sure of what to do. Prim and proper is not usually his style, so I was a little worried about the good-bye. Jacob is not a big fan of change. Or saying good-bye. I was prepared for the worst.

For the first day of class the parents were supposed to stay for 30 minutes while the kids played. I had NOT counted on this. I was ready to drop him off nice and quick, like ripping off a band-aid. But I had to linger and ponder the momentousness of the occasion.

But, Nico is the one who made me cry.

The teacher had the kids line up against the fence for a red light/green light activity. (Isn't he so cute?)














After they played one round Nicholas jumped out of my hands and positioned himself RIGHT next to Jacob. He simply wouldn't leave his side. Cue heart break. I started thinking, "They love each other!", "They need each other!" and "How can I separate them?!"


















They truly are the best of friends and the worst of enemies and I hadn't thought about how they (especially Nicholas) would feel about the separation. Obviously Nicholas was not having it.

For story time Nicholas found Jacob's side and didn't want to leave it. I even tried to pick him up and take him to the other side of the group, but he ran back around the whole circle and plopped down with Jacob again.


















Then the teacher, who I think wanted to make us all cry, read this horrible book. It's all about saying good-bye on a child's first day of school. We've had it Jacob's whole life and I couldn't quite believe that the moment had come for Jacob and I to exchange our own kissing hands. Sob.

I actually held it together the entire 30 minutes. For Jacob. I kept looking at the other parents and thinking, "Are you as broken up as I am?" They looked fine. I hope I looked fine too.














Now, you might be wondering why I'm not writing much about Jacob's emotions. Pretty much because once he broke the ice he was all in. He was LOVING it.

The teacher asked rhetorically, "Aren't we all excited for preschool?" Jacob said in his loudest voice to the whole group, "Do you know what I'm going to learn? I'm going to learn about books and numbers and all kinds of things! Yeah!" A lot like this. I think some parents were jealous of his enthusiasm...there were a few weepy kids.

As the kids were lining up to enter the school there was a moment when Jacob lost me from sight in the group of people. I could see him looking for me and so I called out to him. He saw me and gave me the happiest, sweetest little smile-filled wave. I pumped my fist in the air and waved back. Then, surrounded by kids with sad or indifferent faces, he did his little happy dance. Fists pumping up while hopping from foot to foot. So darling. He was ready.

Even though I broke down crying to my kind friend Tracy the minute I left the school grounds (darn you Nico!) I couldn't help but feel that my boy was growing up and that it was going to be OK (eventually).

Yeah...

...we know him.


















We also (obviously) occasionally buy into blatant commercialism.

And we often dance.

In Town

The boys and I took the train into town.



















We played at Crown Fountain.



















We skipped and pranced.





































We met daddy and headed over to a concert at Millennium Park.















We ate Subway sandwiches.



















And then we made funny faces while we listened to the orchestra.











































Daddy's shoes!



















Mommy's sunglasses!















Nicholas's legs!















Nico yelling "cheese!"















Daddy imitating Nico's "cheese!"



















Daddy trying to block Nico's "cheese!" in a (vain) attempt to not disturb our fellow concert-goers.

































































A monkey popping his neck!

































































Oh yeah, and Grandma Jan wanted to know where Nico picked up this crinkled smile.



















I have no idea.

I need your help

I am currently in the process of picking a new double stroller. You may wonder why I would be interested in a double stroller having a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Allow me to explain. Or enumerate.

1. I use my car typically once every week to week and a half. Sometimes I go long enough between car uses that I have a hard time opening the doors. Like the car is offended and has sealed itself against me. Yeah, that's right! We spend so much time on Hyde Park streets that I sometimes feel like I'm on Sesame Street. I can tell you the people in my neighborhood because they're "the people that you met when you're walking down the street". Each day I run into at least one person that I know. At least. We walk to the market, we walk to the park, we walk to church.

2. Hyde Park sidewalks have a lot of character. Bumps, twists, turns, uneven surfaces...awful.

3. Sometimes, given our urban environment, I really need a place for Jacob to go. Like in a stroller. Jacob has lately become an excellent walk alongside me kind of guy. That being said, places like crosswalks (people here don't really care to yield much) and the train platform are places where I want him stowed away. Plus, he's still very willing to sit in the stroller. Especially when there are snacks involved.

4. My back is killing me! I have a Graco stroller that is killing me softly. It has lots of storage (which I'll miss) and a cup holder (which I'll miss more) but aside from that it's trouble for my back.

So, Matt and I have narrowed our research down to two types of stroller. The Phil & Teds Classic or the City Mini. I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND!!!! Anyone who spends time with me is likely rolling their eyes at this post. This has been an obsession of mine for easily 2 months--try 6. But, as you can see, given the price tag I'm afraid of getting the wrong one. I am not an expensive baby gadget purchaser...so again the help would be appreciated. My uncertainty rivals the great winter coat debate of '08. (Remember those days Mardee and LuAnn? They were awesome, right?)

Without further ado (to the two people who actually stuck through all of that rambling) here's a link to a comparison of the two strollers. You can read the comparisons and then click on the pics for more details.

Please save me from my indecision (misery). Help.

Take the survey or leave a comment...or both!

Kids and trees are cute

Nico













Gideon













Jacob













Maddie

10 Gigs of Photos and now I've got to blog them!

The boys and I have been in Utah for the past three weeks. We had a wonderful trip. We missed Matt so much, but it was nice to not feel so rushed cramming 3 weeks worth of stuff into 1 week (which is our usual very prudent approach to visits). Summer in Utah is the best. We spent time with family, friends, sprinklers, ice cream cones, and did a lot of big wheel riding at my old elementary school.

And, as the title of this post suggests, we took photos. Lots and lots of photos. My dad is a great photographer and recently got himself a great camera. Those two greats created 2 jump drives of pictures.

I'll start whittling away at all of my Utah data with this little bit of sweetness. Three years changes a lot.

Gideon & Jacob - 2006














2009


















Aaaaawwww.

Almost Like You Were There

A casual afternoon throwing rocks into Lake Michigan.

Which throw of Jacob's has the best form? How about the best face?







I have two words for you: wind up.

Here's Nicholas's simple, drama-free throw.



And, in honor of Father's Day, here's the father of my children giving his best impression of the pitching stance of Bronson Arroyo (Arroyo's pitch is right at the beginning).



These pictures were taken by Matt's brother Garrett (Unkie G) on his fancy new camera. The camera has a sport mode with which one may take several pictures per second. Perhaps a regular video would show as much, but the frame by frame has real charm.

Garrett is moving to Australia to get married (to Rhada). We are so happy for him, but sad for us as he'll be pretty far away. We love you Garrett and Rhada! Congratulations!














Garrett's camera and skills also captured this precious picture of Nico. Sigh.

My First Born

Because of some friends who are very obviously pregnant, Jacob is fascinated with someone having a baby in their tummy. He likes to ask all sorts of people if they too have a baby in their tummy. Not many of them do...

Anyway, the other day the subject came 'round to babies in tummies again and he asked, in an exasperated way, "When am I going to be a baby?!?" I told him that he already was a baby and would never be one again. Then he said, "But when am I going to be born again?!". Now, I immediately thought that this could be a great object lesson, but I had a feeling that baptism wouldn't sound as exciting as a) somehow hiding inside mom and b) miraculously getting out again. It's like a magic trick! And if Jacob's stuck on an idea, it's best just to explore that idea rather than try to divert him. Trust me, I know.

I decided to show him the video of his birth. Jacob was born on a lovely summer evening in Atlanta. After a long and tumultuous labor we were told we had to do a c-section. I was crushed. I firmly had my sights set on a "standard birth" (I don't like the term "normal" considering my circumstances) since I was a teenager. I couldn't help but cry quietly as they prepped me for surgery and re-did (yes, re-did) the epidural. But, once they started wheeling me to the operating room I was realizing that I really was having a baby and that I had no idea if it was a boy or a girl. Great things to focus on at such a time.

The video shows me shivering my head off and highlights Matt's and my amazing conversation skills after 24 hours awake and in pain. And then he came. Once the doctor pulled his little body out Matt saw what he was and cried out, "Jacob!" The nurses cleaned him up as quick as can be and brought him to me and pressed his little face against mine. I felt like he was imprinting on me or something. What a welcome, to have his smooth baby skin, unreal, amazing baby skin pressed up to my face. I don't think I truly realized until then that I was really carrying a baby.

As we watched the video yesterday Jacob stood behind me while I sat on the floor holding the video camera in one hand and Nico in my lap. We were all mesmerized. It had been a while since I'd seen the video and felt sure that I wouldn't cry. (It had been a long discipline filled day.) But I did. Unabashedly. And Jacob gave me an inquisitive look, asked me why I was crying, and started gently rubbing my back. Happy, happy tears. With joy that this man was born into the world.



And that he's growing.














I can't believe how he's grown. How he's delighted me, tested me, loved me, and taught me. He's a wise, sweet, loving, delightful child. Full of lots of feelings, smarts and determination.



Today is his 4th birthday. Happy, happy birthday J-man! I love you, darling. I feel so grateful to be your mother.

So, today have a treat and a big glass of milk in honor of Jacob.

He's worth it.

So, I Made Some Capes

I was so excited.

I found some University of Alabama fabric (roll tide) at the bottom of my sewing bin. I bought a half yard of it way back when I only had one child. Because it was an odd cut of fabric I had to make up a pattern and be pretty creative. Very fun and also very time consuming.

Oh, who am I kidding, it felt pretty nightmarish a lot of the time. I'm a novice with sewing and I'm also a perfectionist. Perfectionism is a burden at any time, but couple it with pretty basic sewing skills and making two simple capes can seem pretty soul crushing.

That being said, the night after I finished the capes I felt so sad that my project was done. Little did I know that learning so much and being so focused on a task for my children was edifying me and filling me up. Each night I thought of the boys and how they'd love the capes. I was giddy about how much they'd love them. I was so used to sitting at the machine, cutting, thinking, measuring, ironing, gasping in terror, and unpicking that I am anxious to get sewing again.

With all of the cape making and the day dreaming of my boys leaping tall buildings in a single bound I forgot one thing. Jacob. In his own bull-headed way he won't wear his. The child who two weeks ago was holding pieces of paper up to his shoulders and saying, "I'm Superman!". Won't...wear...it.

Sigh.

So, here is Nicholas in his cape. He's still not sold so I haven't rushed to sew the velcro on the ties (for safety). But at least he'll wear it, right?




































Super Nico!




































Even super heroes get their feelings hurt.


















Anyone interested in a child's cape with a J on it? I think I know of one is that is completely not being used. Sigh, siiiiigh.