"Oh, this was the best day. It was like 35 degrees."

The title of this post was said by me, to Matt in complete sincerity. And it took a few moments after saying it for it to seem ridiculous. That being said, it is winter. Cold, snowy, dark, etc. Sunshine and warmth seem very far away. So, after months of the high being in the teens and twenties 35 degrees feels pretty amazing.

In the midst of winter we had some rain that washed the snow away and we made the most of it. (The next day it snowed...) It felt so good to bring boys and bikes outside. I dig the outside. And I frankly dig no snow. We have since had lots and lots of snow and played heartily in it, but to me this really was the best day.

Faux-Hawk

Nico then.














Jacob now.













Way to rock the hawk, boys.



(Please, please know that our house is not always completely strewn with toy debris. I feel like the last few posts have shown off some very messy backgrounds. I mean, we have plenty of toy debris...just not quite as often or as bad as pictured. I hope.)

Baking

I think many young mothers have visions of baking with their children. As the children wear sweet little aprons and soft music plays in the background. Maybe. Something peaceful and instructive at least. I certainly thought I would really enjoy it (even without the aprons).

But I historically haven't much. It's stressful. They are like little time bombs in the kitchen. Whenever I bake I think about if I really want them in there. I usually grudgingly decide I should offer to let them help me. They gleefully say yes. I sigh. As they noisily drag chairs into the kitchen my pulse quickens and I start thinking, "No! Back! Stay back!". But, by then it's too late and into the kitchen and onto the chairs and into the baking they come. These pictures were taken during some Christmas baking (remember, backlog). Note the careworn expression on my face.














Despite my desperation as I watch flour miss the bowl or salt spill on the floor I do realize one thing: they really, really like it.














(Even if Nico looks like he's in incredible pain. That's joy, man. Pure joy. I know the signs.)














This past week Jacob and I baked some oatmeal cookies while Nico napped. It was genuinely more enjoyable than other baking experiences. Perhaps having just one child to guide helped. One child who has better motor skills. Regardless, Jacob was even up to the task of scooping the dough onto the cookie sheet. I really didn't want him to. And pretty much ached to just do it for him. Despite my ridiculous desire to snatch it out of his hands and do it for him he did a great job.

And I guess that's the point of baking with kids. To teach mom to let go of some control and to let the kids (and moms) know that they are capable of some pretty fun things.

























Even if they're not wearing pants. Ever.


















So, for now, we'll keep on baking.

Just Reading

A few weeks ago, when Jacob had his infamous stomach bug (the one Nicholas had had a few days before with minimal problems), I found the boys in Jacob's messy, messy room like this.

























I really like these two. Especially at these moments. Not so much during power struggles. Or tantrums. Or whining. Or fights over toys. Or brazen defiance. But here? Man, I really like them. It is oh so easy for me to not appreciate these moments when they come. They sneak up on me so quietly sometimes I just don't notice. Darling.

When Upon Life's Billows

I can't sleep tonight. I've got a lot of little and big things on my mind. Nothing too terrible, but I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all of the moving parts in our life. From where will be be living during Matt's summer internship to how am I ever going to find the time and energy to clean the bathrooms...and just about everything in between. These worries are compounded by the gloom of a Chicago January and a frustrating lack of confidence I often feel during pregnancy.

Since I was just allowing all of my worries to tumble through my head as I listened to Matt's peaceful breathing I decided to really help myself sleep by getting up and checking my email! The best way to ease insomnia, right? In a twisted attempt at 3 AM productivity I decided to do a new post. I know I should be catching up on Christmas and well before that, but I couldn't resist these pictures.

These little boys are so darling, really even at their worst...which I've seen on occasion. I feel so fortunate to have them. And even though a good chunk of my worries are about them, that's OK with me. I'm grateful for their personalities, their lightheartedness and their love. I really have been given so much.





































Oh, and I'm grateful for this awesome face Jacob pulled when I asked him to get out of the shot so I could get one of Nicholas by himself. If you look closely you can see real tears welling up in his eyes.

A More Delicate Constitution

Well, it's time for my obligatory "It's January and my kids are sick" post. It's true! January brings sickness to one and all! The boys have cycled through a stomach bug over the past 4 days. While stomach bugs are never fun, it has felt easier than in the past. Perhaps it's easier because they are older and have better "aim", if you will. Or perhaps I've given up the dream of having kids that don't throw up and can handle the indignities of it better.

I have felt for some time now that Jacob is my "barfy" child. He thankfully doesn't get sick in response to certain foods or in the car (so thankful), but when he gets a stomach bug his body is at war. A very disgusting, dramatic war. In fact I would say that if he throws up once you can count on, completely expect, that he will throw up at least 5 more times. Within 3 hours.

Allow me to sketch the time line of this week's sicknesses.

Wednesday afternoon: Nicholas has a fever. It resolves quickly and he acts normal all the rest of the day. We decide to stay home the rest of the day and the next day just in case. A stomach bug was on the prowl in our building and we didn't care to share our mystery illness.

Thursday evening: Nicholas throws up.

Thursday night: Nicholas doesn't have a great night's sleep, but generally does fine.

Friday morning: Nicholas throws up.

Friday all day: Nicholas is a bit tired, but completely well by day's end.

Saturday afternoon: Jacob gets a fever. Chilling commences.

Saturday night: Jacob is up 4-5 times in the night with a high fever and chills.

Sunday morning: Jacob wakes up, throws up, and does that 6 more times until noon. During this time he sends himself to bed to doze and puke alternately. Again, thank you aiming skills.

Sunday afternoon: Jacob feels better but is still fairly weak.

Sunday evening: Jacob is feverish and threatening throwing up again.

And so it goes. I frankly can't even begin to think that Jacob is over this. He's just...delicate. And he's been delicate through the ages. I actually have quasi-fond memories of nursing this little one back to health. Not of cleaning up "stuff" or trying to convince him that he can't eat yet, but the falling asleep in my arms thing is pretty wonderful.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of little sickie Jacob, starting when he was 18 months through today. This boy has had so many stomach bugs. I feel so bad for him when he gets like this. Poor little baby.


































































































Note Nicholas happily eating yogurt at the table. This was during the summer when they both had hand, foot and mouth. Only one of them, however, threw up at least 10 times and spent the day sprawled on the couch. They both spent the day in undies.


















And here we are today. We got out the legos for Nicholas (easily washed--just in case) and basically Jacob moaned and groaned and barfed while Nicholas tinkered and built and talked.

Matt even tried his hand at robot making.


















So, here's to good health and to iron stomachs. May the new baby have both. Please.

Baby Blues

I love these eyes. So darling, so wicked, so gleeful.













And those are three perfect descriptors of Nico. Perfect.

If Jacob Had a Facebook Account

Which would be the best profile picture? I mean, it all depends on what he wants to say. Silly, Sweet, Edgy, Artsy, Confused, Sophisticated...there are so many ways he can go. He's always been so versatile. And stay with me through this glut of pictures -- it's worth it.

(Almost all of these poses were made in response to the direction, "Smile". Whoah.)

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Get ready for some sweetness...and some big boy Sunday clothes!

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Mary, Cheese and "Special Smiles"

We got a new camera for Christmas (YAY!) and I am having a fun time working with it. I still have a lot to learn, but the improvement in quality is exciting. Here are some examples of typical "poses" in our household. And now that I've been taking more pictures expect a lot more of these faces...these boys really love to have their picture taken. LOVE IT.

All I said for these pictures was "Be like Mary". Everything about this face I love. The nose, the eyes, the cheeks. Soft and lovely.

























Of course, this is his most common pose, but here's a funny "cheese".













Lastly are Jacob's "special smiles". I substitute in primary for singing time often. Last Sunday I led the music and loved seeing sweet J. Not only was he so reverent and attentive, but he kept on giving me sweet, genuine smiles. I complimented him on the special smiles he gave me and then he proceeded to show me more "special smiles". That boy loves to pose.













But sometimes the special smiles look a little bit funny. Here's a prime example. He's not about to sneeze, he's holding his "special smile".













Nice.