In my mind he still has brown hair

Dirty face in April 2009

Less dirty face in June 2010

That little mop top boy was a cutie. He's who I picture when I think of Nico. Where did he go? I just can't believe the transformation. It breaks my heart and makes me happy at the same time. Ah the bittersweetness of parenthood.

I've got to do some blogging

My backlog is astounding. Lots of things I need to remember and that I'd love to share. But, it's late. And I can't settle into a long post. So for now I'll share a bright spot in my day. It's my darling Ben smiling. He is such a sincere smiler. He a-goos and coos so sweetly and loves a friendly face. He's a total delight.

And when he flashes his smile at me at 2:00 in the morning it doesn't feel that bad to be awake. Not at all.

Would you like a good laugh?

Will this do?

Of course it will! I love it so much!!!

This picture was taken by Grandma Jan in Chicago a few weeks after Benjamin was born. I had no idea it existed until quite recently. I think "slide cams" will be sweeping the nation soon.

When I showed this to my dad he said, "That's cute. Who's the girl?" I guess that Nico was definitely due for a haircut.

Losing His Marbles

Jacob has found a new favorite pass time. Grandpa Gam has a jar full of marbles from when he was a boy and has graciously allowed Jacob to play with them. Every. Single. Day.

He only gets to play with them when Nico is down for his nap (or solitary confinement when he won't nap). The minute I start getting Nicholas ready for nap Jacob is on me to find out when he can play with marbles. And if I can play with him. In urgent, pleading whispers. Can I? Can I? Please? Please? Please?

Below he had organized them in order of how much he liked them.

By the way, playing real marbles is majorly fun. Just get a piece of yarn to make a circle on the ground and start calling your shots. It's like playing pool on the floor!


















Allow me to say despite the title of this post, I am loving 5 year old Jacob. Darling, earnest, and responsible. Loving it.

Binoculars and Breakfast

And balloons.

Oh how I love the Provo Freedom Festival. It's so peaceful and a bit surreal to wake up to the sounds of balloons filling up with air. And then to come outside and see them scattered across the blue sky. Perfection!

This year I missed most of that. I was asleep after a long (or short depending on your definition) night with Benjamin. But, my Dad was awake with my big boys and treated them to a morning of granola bars and balloon viewing. Trust my Dad to get them such a comfy set up. And he took these darling pictures. Thank you Dad.

Thank you also for not taking them up on the roof for the balloon viewing like we did when I was a little girl. That being said, I have such lovely memories of eating egg mcmuffins on the roof while watching the balloons. We'll give that a few more years.

And now, for Nico's favorite balloon.

Nothing like a giant piggy bank in the sky. Very subtle.

I'm Back, Baby

We are in Utah at my parents' house for the summer and are just about settled enough to actually post again. By "we" I mean the boys and me. Matt is in Omaha working away at his internship. We miss him so much and are so proud of him. Getting here was an adventure and living here is one too. Cousins, swim lessons, pretend preschool, scraped knees, real preschool, and lots of interpersonal drama (cousins don't always get along...) have kept us running. That's all on top of simply caring for and loving our baby Ben.

Thanks to Aunt Rachel and Uncle Stephen for requesting more blogs. We felt loved and also spurred on to greater blogging heights...or at least just weekly posts.

For now, a picture and the promise of more to follow.

The stripes brigade!













(And yes, I buzzed Jacob's hair. On accident. With a thirty year old set of clippers.)

Jeepers Creepers

I wonder.

Will these little peepers be brown?













Or blue?

The Alpha-newborn

That's right, I'm comparing my children. Now that I have three boys I feel that comparing them is impossible to avoid.













And that it's my right. So, right or wrong, let's get down to business!

1. WEIGHT

We were honestly stunned by Benjamin's weight. Jacob was 7 lb 4 oz over a week overdue. Nicholas was 8 lb 13 oz a week overdue. Benjamin was 8 lb 12 oz five days early. That child would have been nearly a ten pound baby had he reached a week overdue. The last month of my pregnancy I kept marveling that I ever went over with J and N because I felt so large and so uncomfortable. I guess I know why I felt that way. I still can't believe I grew such a would-be gigantor baby. Same general weight gain as with the boys, just a HUGE baby for being so early. Perhaps that's why during the c-section when they said I would feel a "little pressure" as they pushed him out I felt like an elephant (or two) was standing on my chest. I don't remember that with J and N, but with them I'd been in labor for hours and hours before the surgery. That's right hours and hours. I think that by the time the c-sections came perhaps the discomforts of the surgery blended into the discomforts of labor. Oh, how I suffer!

2. BUILD

When Benjamin was born I sort of assumed he was built like Nicholas because their weights were so close. However, Nicholas was stout. Really stout. With cheeks from here to eternity. See?














Benjamin is leaner everywhere, more like Jacob (read: chicken legs). In addition to those pencil legs Benjamin has the tiniest bottom I have ever seen. Ever. We are at a loss as to how to diaper him. Nico had ample cheeks everywhere. Wink.

3. RESEMBLANCES

As newborns, Jacob looked like Matt;
































Nicholas looked like an Eskimo;














and Benjamin looks like my dad.
























A lot! By the way, I love everything about this picture of my dad and his twin sister with my Grandparents.

As a toddler I would say Nico looks like my mom's family...gleefully wicked grins are apparently an inherited trait.













4. HAIR

This is the biggie in our family. I have a friend who has fairly bald babies. OK, totally bald babies (sorry Mardee). Her husband was a bit surprised when I said Benjamin had "some" hair as if it wasn't much. But, in comparison to his brothers, I still say he has the least hair.

To know the true nature of a newborn baby's hair you have to discuss it immediately post bath. Otherwise it all looks the same...dark and greasy. (Thus goes the seedy underbelly of baby hair.)

Nicholas looked like an Eskimo in part because of his thick crop of black hair. Adult hair, really. Couple that with his full face and he was a sight to behold. I remember just having to part his hair after his first wash. What else was there to do?! (All of these pics were taken after the first or second time I washed their hair.)














Darling. Oh, they are all darling. But back to the hair. Jacob's hair was the lightest in color with delicate curls.
















Benjamin's is mid-range in color and those curls are tight.













His curls are perfect for a good faux-hawk...which you all know I'm partial to.

5. CUTENESS

All in all our three sons* really are beautiful. Matt's sister told me after her second child that she was amazed she had made something so perfect. I couldn't agree more. It's humbling and exciting to have these boys join our family.

OK, long anecdote. As we were driving to the hospital I was feeling a little ill at ease. I always really didn't want c-sections for many reasons, but after both of our previous attempts it was clear to us that my body was not interested in doing things traditionally. It's just weird to walk into a place healthy and whole (albeit 9 months pregnant) and pay them to slice you open. I was worried about if I'd be emotionally strong enough to do it. (Somehow a c-section is easier to go through after long, complicated labors. The drama helps.) The thing that kept me going was thinking that Benjamin was coming. I just knew he was a boy by that time and couldn't stop thinking about him. I was still super nervous, but when we got into the pre-op room and I saw the little bassinet it hit me: I am the luckiest girl in the world. (Me feeling lucky.)













I realized then that I was in store for a miracle...even if it wasn't totally on my terms. I feel so grateful for these boys. They are each of them so cute.

I am loving learning more about this darling boy Ben. I am so excited to see this little ball of clay grow and develop into a big kid and beyond. I have a feeling he's going to be pretty wonderful.













*Matt rented the first season of the TV show My Three Sons in honor of Benjamin's birth. Let me tell you...it's the most boring show on the planet. That, and they rely very heavily on the word "jeepers".

Want to play?

And now it's time for another exciting round of "Can you see the baby in this picture?"!!!

Prepare yourselves because this round incorporates the eye-trickery of stripes.














Did you see him?



I love this game...and this baby.

*This stripey day happened by accident. Benjamin's wearing a new onesie Grandma G got him and I'm wearing one of the two things summer things that fit me right now...a knit skirt. And it's hot in Chicago right now so summer stuff is my only option. Sigh.

Benjamin

I just had to post a picture of this sweet, mild boy. He is truly darling.